Quotes
Quotes about Money
Money comes and goes, but people last for a lifetime.
I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today.
If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
Men who accomplish great things in the industrial world are the ones who have faith in the money producing power of ideas.
I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.
No man's credit is as good as his money.
Remember that credit is money.
Never spend your money before you have it.
One of the greatest disservices you can do a man is to lend him money that he can't pay back.
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.
I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high.
I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
We all need money, but there are degrees of desperation.
Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace.
Again let us dream where the land lies sunny And live, like the bees, on our hearts' old honey, Away from the world that slaves for money-- Come, journey the way with me.
Yet shall you have to rectify your palate, An olive, capers, or some better salad Ushering the mutton; with a short-legged hen, If we can get her, full of eggs, and then, Limons, and wine for sauce: to these a coney Is not to be despaired of for our money; And though fowl now be scarce, yet there are clerks, The sky not falling, think we may have larks.
Economy is a way of spending money without getting any pleasure out of it.
Never think of leaving perfumes or wine to your heir. Administer these yourself, and let him have your money.
The love of evil is the root of all money.
