Quotes
Quotes about Jokes
Round-heads and wooden-shoes are standing jokes.
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace
The day's disasters in his morning face;
Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee
At all his jokes, for many a joke had he;
Full well the busy whisper circling round
Convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd.
Yet was he kind, or if severe in aught,
The love he bore to learning was in fault;
The village all declar'd how much he knew,
'T was certain he could write and cipher too.
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more. If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm silent they think I'm ridiculous; rude if I answer, sly if I get a good idea, lazy if I'm tired, selfish if I eat a mouthful more than I should, stupid, cowardly, crafty, etc. etc.
A man must serve his time to every trade Save censure--critics all are ready made. Take hackney'd jokes from Miller, got by rote, With just enough of learning to misquote; A mind well skill'd to find or forge a fault; A turn for punning, call it Attic salt; To Jeffrey go, be silent and discreet, His pay is just ten sterling pounds per sheet; Fear not to lie, 'twill seem a lucky hit; Shrink not from blasphemy, 'twill pass for wit; Care not for feeling--pass your proper jest, And stand a critic, hated yet caress'd.
Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and see that they laugh, they cry, they tell jokes ... they're just friends waiting to be made.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
"He started hating me, cause I couldn't laugh at his jokes. I just started finding it impossible to laugh at his jokes the way I used to."
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.
Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones.
