Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?" "I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know." "We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.".
The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window.
Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul.
That it may please you leave these sad designs To him that hath most cause to be a mourner, And presently repair to Crosby House; Where--after I have solemnly interred At Chertsey monast'ry with noble king-- And wet his grave with my repentant tears-- I will with all expedient duty see you.
Let no one honour me with tears, or bury me with lamentation. Why? Because I fly hither and thither, living in the mouths of me. [Lat., Nemo me lacrymis decoret, nec funera fletu. Faxit cur? Volito vivu' per ora virum.]
What dire Offence from am'rous Causes springs, What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things.
Contentious fierce, Ardent, and dire, spring from no petty cause.
Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.
We have a lot of people revolutionizing the world because they've never had to present a working model.
Many of the world's troubles are not due just to Russia or communism. They would be with us in any event because we live in an era of revolution--the revolution of rising expectations.
A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right.
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
Princes are like to heavenly bodies, which cause good or evil times; and which have much veneratoin, but no rest.
And in the years he reigned; through all the country wide, There was no cause for weeping, save when the good man died. [Fr., Ce n'est que lorsqu'il expira Que le peuple, qui l'enterra pleura.]
Of all tales 'tis the saddest--and more sad, Because it makes us smile.
Why should we fear; and what? The laws? They all are armed in virtue's cause; And aiming at the self-same end, Satire is always virtue's friend.
Scientists were rated as great heretics by the church, but they were truly religious men because of their faith in the orderliness of the universe.
The cell phone has transformed public places into giant phone-a-thons in which callers exist within narcissistic cocoons of private conversations. Like faxes, computer modems and other modern gadgets that have clogged out lives with phony urgency, cell phones represent the 20th Century's escalation of imaginary need. We didn't need cell phones until we had them. Clearly, cell phones cause not only a breakdown of courtesy, but the atrophy of basic skills.
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
It's guid to be merry and wise, It's guid to be honest and true, It's guid to support Caledonia's cause, And bide by the buff and the blue!
So we're all right, an' I, for one, Don't think our cause'll lose in vally By rammin' Scriptur' in our gun, An' gittin' Natur' for an ally.
When seagulls follow a trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
God could cause us considerable embarrassment by revealing all the secrets of nature to us: we should not know what to do for sheer apathy and boredom.
[Long hair] is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket.